Chronicles Of A Sojourner

No doubt,

Once in a while, the desperation to be seen and heard would pop up.

The desire to  have your works out there; noticed by everyone; have something to show for my time, My ‘results’

Now when I say seen, I mean by family, friends, and those close to us ~you know sometimes we have such sweet people around that just would remind you of all you've failed as a means to motivate you.

And times like that

It feels like I get to realize that there’s a whole lot of ‘work’ I do not yet have

There’s a whole lot of ‘me’ that is not out there not because I am such a beautifully reserved woman, but because my lover won’t let me.

It’s beautiful how moments like that, My Groom takes His time to point out two things to me;

First,

Submission ~ I get to see what it is to be married and to be a wife. Is that I get to live according to First John 3:2 which says;

“Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.” 1 John‬ ‭3‬:‭1‬ ‭KJV

That my love for Him constrains my desires overshadows me and brings me to submit to Him, His desires, and His will. And so, any threading away from where He is is a separation from Him.

I must say, this is one thing I know He is working in me because I know how much of an ambitious woman I am, how much of a ‘look here y’all, I’ve got something going’ kind of woman I can be.

I love to see results!

So, I find myself shutting out most of the times I get to feel this way, I find myself trying to stay away from every reminder of what’s to do and what’s not to do I have around me and just Retreat; Cry to Him, spell out my weaknesses and hear what He has to say to me.

Many times, I go;

“I’m ** years old and I've done nothing”

“I tried doing XYZ today and I failed”

“I have this dream and I've made these plans towards it and nothing is working”

I won't say He always responds; sometimes He lets me know what to do and what not to do and other times, He is just silent.

But then again I realized that His silence is an answer that says;

“Trust me”, “Remain Here”, “Learn more”, and “Be deliberate in seeking me”.

So I just seek Him more to help me trust Him and wait on Him till He decides to respond to Me.

Then again, He opens my eyes to see that in times like this, the enemy wanders and seeks to find just a tiny bit of access to get through to me and so I get to see that although I'm to be even more intimate with Him, I'm to learn more about Him, I'm to trust Him more, the enemy would keep me busy by magnifying the many things that I feel He has not done, trying to dampen my Faith and keep me in a place where I just lament and forget His goodness.

I won't lie, I fall for that trap sometimes

And I just end up crying to Him and of course lamenting. But you know how you can just be talking to your man and you're just frowning and nagging and all of a sudden, He just starts to tickle you and you just can't explain it, you find yourself laughing hysterically, that's exactly how He just takes His time raise songs of Thanksgiving from withing my bowels and I just can't explain the sweetness I feel when I realize how loudly I am praising and how Davidic my moves are.

I realized again and again

I love the Lord!

I, Arielle, love The Lord!

I get to realize again that In Him I live,

I move and Have my being

He is being Perfected in me and I can't help but be so grateful.

There’s never a time I go back to Him heartbroken and in pain that I remain the same

Just as long as I leave all things and just Cleave to Him.

I am a proudly, eternally married woman!

Yes, I'm married to Jesus and it is so perfect 🥹